Listening is a skill which needs to be practiced and honed to perfection. Most people want to be "heard" and while engaged in a conversation we often begin to discuss, dispute, argue with, and state our own stance which creates a conversational divide.
Would you be willing to set a goal this month on "listening?" Catch yourself interrupting, challenging or disputing and change your conversational approach. See if making this change allows you to feel closer to your partner. See if doing this creates more intimacy.
You will be glad you set listening as a priority.