Take the opportunity to enjoy the love you share with your spouse on Valentine's Day.

Even though this is a commercialized holiday, it offers a day to focus on the special love and connection you may feel for one another.

Make this day special by offering a small gesture which reminds your partner just how much they are loved.

It will make both of you feel good.

We often enter into a marriage feeling so happy, delirious about our commonalities, giddy with enfatuation.

What changes? People do. Time happens.

If things have changed in your deleriously happy marriage what might you do about it?

Identifying the stressors or difficulties might be the first step.

Do a self-assessment which might include;

1. When did I begin to notice that I was feeling used?

2. What has changed in our relationship since before I recognized this uncomfortable feeling?

3. What actions have I been taking which lead me to feel used by my lover?

4. Do I enable my significant other to take advantage of my kindness and generosity?

5. What might I recognize about myself that might need to be changed?

6. How can I institute a change in my life where I no longer allow myself to be used or lead me to feel like a " door mat?"

7. What might our relationship be like if I did not feel used or taken for granted?

8. What needs to change?

9. What is my plan for changing my own behavior?

10. How will I know when I succeed?

Success might be the awareness and recognition I glean from doing the assessment and actually making changes in my own behavior where I no longer feel the negativity of being taken for granted and I realize I feel happy and fulfilled in my loving, caring partnership.

This is possible.

Couples benefit from setting aside special time together where they hold hands with one another, spend time bonding and connecting in special settings.

Has your marriage become boring? Mundane? Do you feel like marriage seems like the same old..same old?

How might you become proactive and design creative opportunities to connect with one another?

Being intentional about connecting with each other is necessary to keep the fires burning.

Holding hands at the beach can lead to a beautiful, intimate connection.

Try it.