Couples come to therapy voicing frustrations about their partner. Typically this means that they want their partner to change to accommodate their own desires.

Guess what this creates? Conflict, frustration, feelings of inadequacy, anger, resentment, intimacy divide.

Why do humans attempt to mold their partner into the person they envision? Why is it so difficult for people to accept their partner unconditionally? Why do we think we're always right?

What do you think unconditional positive regard and acceptance bring to a marriage or relationship?

Freedom. Freedom from expenditure of energy on attempts to change one's partner. How freeing.

Would you like to work on acceptance?

Call a therapist who specializes in personal growth and wellness.

Forgiveness is a gift.

A gift for both the giver and the receiver.

Pride sometimes gets in the way of taking responsibility for one's own actions or owning one's part in the conflictual interaction.

Why are we as humans so stubborn? Why do we cheat ourselves out of serenity and comfort only to dig into our stance and try to prove how right we are? When people do this they remain isolated, angry and resentful which hurts themselves.

Who might you choose to forgive?

What would it take for you to forgive today?

What is preventing you from making this step?

What would be the benefits for you and the other if you offered the olive branch?

Make the gesture to reach out today.

What a gift to you and the other.

This spring lots of weddings will take place. Hours of preparation and planning; venue, bridesmaid dresses, wedding gown, church, vows, food, cakes, flowers and music. What is missing?

Counseling for the new couple is a very beneficial endeavor in preparation for laying the foundational elements for s strong, trusting marriage.

Seeking counseling pre-marriage is a great thing to do!

www.joanlearycounseling.com

One's expectations for marriage may surpass one's dreams or lead to frustrations and resentments.

Do you speak openly and honestly with your spouse about what you expect on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis? Have you clearly communicated to your spouse your hopes and dreams?

Expectations may lead a couple down a crooked road with all types of barriers and obstacles towards helping each person reach their expectation of what their coupleship should be.

How have expectations disappointed you?

What might a person do to feel healthy and well in a happy marriage, still have expectations for good outcomes and NOT become angry and resentful when things don't turn out like the person thinks they should?

Ten things to use in recognizing expectations which may lead to a healthy vibrant marriage.

1. Be honest with your partner.

2. Communicate clearly about your desires.

4. Determine the difference between your desires versus needs.

5. Be understanding and compromising.

6. Be reasonable and kind.

7. Listen to your spouse's expectations.

8. Use a sense of humor.

9. Ask others how they navigate through realistic versus unrealistic expectations.

10. Seek to understand your spouse's viewpoint.

Your expectations might be surpassed by your wildest dreams if you utilize some compassionate skills in communicating with your spouse.

Try it.