The blame game.
Just who's fault is it? I see husbands and wives blaming one another for the negative consequences in their relationship. Each points the finger at the other.
If only you would do this... then I would be happy. Well, if you would do this...then we would be happy. A circular argument which lands them right where they began.
I ask each of my clients to look into themselves and reflect on their own behavior, their own part in the situation.
Why is it so difficult to look at oneself and our own part? Why do we look outside of ourselves and blame the other? Why does one deflect from the real issue and attribute the negatives to their spouse?
I work with couples to self reflect and search deep within as to their own part in the coupleship. When each person recognizes their own self defeating patterns of behavior and after accepting their part chooses to behave differently a positive shift and change happens in the marriage.
As a therapist I teach couples to communicate and take ownership of their own behavior which leads them to more fulfillment.