Emotional affairs can be devastating to a healthy marriage. Why? The deception and mood altering which occurs cheats the other spouse out of an honest, forthright relationship.
When the spouse who engages in the emotional affair gives time, space, intimate connection to someone else the energy which could be going into the healthy marriage is diverted to another which creates a divide in marital intimacy.
When the spouse ultimately finds out about the emotional affair they feel betrayed, cheated and duped. Reality as they knew it is not real and the betrayal is difficult to overcome.
All of this results in significant trust breaches in the marriage and takes time to mend.
If you find yourself in an emotional affair what might one do?
1. Tell a therapist
2. Ask oneself if a major breach in trust is worth a fantasy relationship?
3. Set appropriate boundaries with others of the opposite sex.
4. Don't allow oneself to become intimately or emotionally involved with another, or sever it immediately.
5. Talk to one's spouse about getting your needs met.
6. Be honest with yourself about the fantasy nature of an emotional affair and decide to put the energy into your healthy marriage instead of into an articifial semblance of a close relationship. Why take the risk of losing your marriage?
Healthy marriage will be more satisfying in the long run.