Bossy and Controlling?

Do you find yourself telling your spouse what to do? And how to do it? And when and where to do it?

How is this approach working in your marriage? Do you find your spouse defensive when you tend to use the bossy " know-it-all approach?"

When we take the role of an authoritarian in our personal relationships it usually creates dissension and resistance with the other person.

What would be a better way to handle things? Have you tried different approaches to get your point across in a successful way?

Asking rather than telling someone what to do typically works better.

For example, " Honey, what are your thoughts on taking out the garbage? Would this be a negotiable chore which we decide to assign to one or the other of us?"

"The kids need to be driven to school tomorrow, would you be willing to fill this role? If not, what kind of compromise can we design?"

This approach is more respectful, creates less resistance and push back and creates a safer more communicative environment in which the marriage can flourish.