Growing together in your relationship? Like these beautiful tulips you find yourselves blooming and blossoming into a strong, healthy partnership where each person is able to shine and sparkle.

Good relationships have a "flow" which floats smoothly along a continuum where each partner feels validated, affirmed, heard and loved. Each partner is open and willing to listen, smile, and respect the other's point of view.

If your relationship is being interrupted by bumps in the road, or stones in the stream, seeking counseling with a licensed therapist might help you achieve a smooth, honoring, sacred bond.

You may grow into this gorgeous, flowering partnership. It's spring.

Codependency Quiz.

1. Do you find yourself frustrated by a family member who has an addictive disorder?

2. Do you attempt to make everyone else happy while forgetting yourself?

3. Do you get angry about other's behavior and then feel guilty about it?

4. Are you the peacemaker and nurturer in the relationship while the other does exactly whatever they please?

5. Do you wonder why you don't feel happy and content even though your life appears to be good from other's viewpoints?

The Leary Group for Women meets every Monday evening from 5 pm- 7pm in Mountain Brook, Alabama. Codependency issues, self-growth, happiness, wellness, wholeness, communication  and relationship issues are all topics which are addressed in a confidential group therapeutic setting with a Licensed Therapist.

If you think you might be interested in attending a group, please contact
Joan Leary to inquire about an assessment and intake session to see if this group would meet your needs and wishes. Joan

joanlearycounseling.com
205.529.5565

Have you ever fallen in love with someone who didn't love you in return? Rejection is one of the most painful emotions on our planet. The heart hurts. It aches. The head or intellect tells one to "move on," to leave the person alone who doesn't share the love in return. This is not so easy.

Unrequited love is defined in the Webster Dictionary as; "one-sided love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such by the beloved."  When one's heart attaches to another it is very difficult to detach and move on to life without the beloved. Attachment begins with humans at a very young age and whether one had a healthy attachment with the Mother or Father may dictate how a person later in life attaches in relationships.

Research tells us that emotional pain is as real as physical pain. The phrases, "broken hearted, wounded spirit and crushed ego," are just a few expressions a human feels when love is not reciprocated.

Reframing the love one feels into a healthy expression is very difficult but possible. People have felt love and rejection from the beginning of time.

Ideas to get through a period of unrequited love may include;
1. Seek therapy to work through grief and loss.
2. Set a morning agenda for each day which includes healthy self-care actions.
3. Massage therapy may help one to assuage the numbness of rejection and assist in reattaching with one's true feelings.
4. Create ways to "feel alive."
5. Make a vision board with ideas for finding joy.
6. Seek a spiritual connection through, religion, yoga, meditation or mindfulness.
7. Work on ways to "self-love" and embrace one's own vulnerability and humanness.
8. Talk with trusted friends or family who might understand and support during this difficult time.
9. Embrace the love you were capable of feeling yet not able to express and feel reciprocated and feel grateful that you had the experience.
10. Love your self.

You are lovable despite the other not receiving your gift of love.

Has the "Magic," in your relationship become elusive?

What did the "Magic" look like when you first met one another? What changed? What is missing? What would it take for you to replace the boredom, going through the motions, the mundaneness of your relationship with vibrancy and aliveness?

Are you willing to engage and invest in the work that it might take to get you the relationship you truly desire? How much time and energy have you expended to create the closeness and intimacy you desire?

Do you often blame your partner? Do you find fault in what he/she does or doesn't do? Have you self-reflected and looked at what part you have played in creating a mundane, boring partnership? Are you looking for an easy out?

Relationships take water, fertilizer, sunshine, cultivation just as does a garden. Are you willing to elicit from yourself some of the ways you might act more loving?

If you need assistance in getting the Magic Garden Relationship to grow, call a therapist to get some clues, tools and help in getting the fruit you desire.

Sometimes I Wonder

                         

I wander in places secret

Hidden from daily life

I wonder where I aimlessly roam

My eyes awaken with new life

Greenery blooming, blossoming

While autumn looms

Secret get-aways

All alone, I experience soft bird calls

Crickets, cicadas, a shot in the distance

My secret birds-eye view of red berries, rippling brooks, uncharted pathways

I wonder where I wander

My secret get-aways shared solely with my soul.

My precious growth.

J. Leary, 2015, Oneonta, AL.

What sets your soul on fire?

Each day brings a new opportunity to indulge oneself into a new endeavor. When you find yourself in a rut, you may wish to stop for a moment, assess what really makes you feel energized and alive and pursue the dreams you know lie within you.

Days fly by. Life becomes rote and mundane. What awakens your soul and spirit?

Pursue your passion.

Do you feel comfortable with others?

When do you feel most/least comfortable when with another person?

What factors are present when you feel relaxed with another?

What can you do to surround yourself with others who support, uplift, inspire you to be your best?

Who is a suitable companion for you to spend quality time with?

Do you honor your intuition regarding this issue?

Companionship can be wonderful. Find someone with whom you feel safe and can blossom.

Psych Central, www.psychcentral.com,

has an article written on why, "Conscientiousness" is the most important personality trait.

Why is this an important attribute? When you meet someone conscientious, how do you feel?