Football season can conjure up warm feelings like autumn leaves, marching bands, popcorn, tailgating and others.

However, at times couples come to counseling for arguing about feeling like a football widow/ widower or feelings of loneliness and betrayal due to the inordinate amount of time spent watching sports.

What are some strategies couples can use to deal with this issue?

1. Plan special times for the two of you.

2. Be creative, it might be morning coffee on the deck.

3. Express your true feelings regarding feeling abandoned or ignored by your significant other.

4. Compromise on watching the game together or making special time for oneself while the other is entrenched in the TV.

5. Laugh and joke about the sports addiction.

6. Accept your loved one's passion for sports.

7. Ask for participation in your special interests.

8. Find new weekend hobbies during sports season.

9. Take a solo weekend alone to explore new horizons.

10. Smile and make a decision to compromise.

You may find that sports season can be a fun and exciting time for you and your new interests.

Don't let the sports season create rigid resentments in your heart that separate you from the love you feel for your partner.

What does your own voice say to you? Do you find yourself being critical? Examples of negative self talk;

"You're too quiet, you're not smart, you're incompetent, things always go wrong, life is too difficult."

Where do these negative messages come from? How can we soften the negative voice and amplify the positive one?

Sometimes our own negative voice has us chasing our tail, going round and round in a circuitous argument where we end up exhausted. Has this ever happened to you? Do you find yourself tired from the obsessive negative thought circle in which we engage?

Cognitive behavioral therapy is helpful for one struggling with negative self- talk. How does it work?

The therapist teaches the client how to become aware of the negative, irrational thoughts and provides exercises to dispute these negative messages and to replace them with realistic ones.

An example; " I am so dumb I always mess things up."

In actuality where do you have examples in your life where you have not made a poor decision? What did it feel like? So the sentence " I always mess up," is inaccurate.

Find a therapist who uses cognitive behavioral therapy to help you get out of the negative, self defeating cycle.

It really works.