www.jackkornfield.com The book, "The Wise Heart," reminds one of the importance of compassion and forgiveness.

At times we perpetuate dysfunction in our relationships by staying stuck in the premise of, "being right." Have you ever found yourself trying to prove to your partner that your stance is the correct one?

Who wins? Is it more important for you to win the argument or discussion or to compassionately listen to your partner with an effort to understand? Listen for the meaning of the message.

Why not evaluate or re-evaluate your need to be the winner?

Do the loving thing to connect with your partner with empathy and understanding.

You and your partner will both feel so much better. 💗

Do you know someone who sucks the fun right out of a get-together or gathering?

When this person enters the room does negativity pervade the entire environment?

Do you feel like your boundaries are violated when this person sucks the positive energy out of the room?

What does one do when a person with toxic energy permeates your space?

1. Brainstorm alternatives

2. Sever the relationship or friendship

3. Confront the negative person by expressing one's true feelings

4. Ignore the negative energy

5. Withdraw from the situation

Surround oneself with positive, life enhancing people who make you feel good when in their presence.

Seek genuineness.

Model the kind of positive energy you wish to see in others.

Connect with healthy friends and family.

Trials and tribulations of putting oneself into the online dating scene.

There are many different dating sites and people sign up to find their deepest love. But in reality what occurs with dating in this manner?

Firstly, making one's bio takes time and creativity. Then the actual dating search and responses to prospective partners takes a lot of energy, effort and time.

Do you put unrealistic hopes and expectations onto the possible partners with whom you email?

Do looks alone determine whether one sends a wink, flirt or email? Can one actually determine by emailing what a per son's personality, temperament and style is?

There seems to be a lot of disappointment in the online dating process but meeting people in real-time seems more difficult in the busy world.

Have realistic expectations. Adjust your dating objectives and goals.

Soul journey.

Some clients come to therapy to explore the yearning for their meaning in life.

Some people are sad, lonely, alone, dissatisfied with status quo and are confused and curious about the reason they are living on this planet.

Therapy is a good place to voice the longings, yearning and wonder regarding one's humanness.

Why am I here? What meaning does my life take? I'm lost. I'm curious. I wander and go through the motions of life.

Where do I go from here? Am I truly doing my passion? Emotional pain hurts.

I serve as a guide for clients to explore these deep life questions. The client finds their own answers with the therapist as a conduit towards assisting the client in identifying their own answers.

Therapist are "trusted others."

If you want to do soul searching you might consider therapy.

May the sparklers of relationship- connection bring you a Happy July 4th!

Bangs, blings, bings, crackles are sounds heard when celebrating this USA holiday.

My wish for you and your partner is that this holiday will bring you a closer connection and a happier relationship.

Celebrate freedom to express warm, loving feelings towards one another.

Sparkle together.

Shortest distance from me to you is a warm smile.

Relationships which are healthy and happy report lots of smiles, sweet grins, loving pats and warm affection.

A smile is such an easy thing to provide to one's lover yet more time seems to be spent on buying gifts, elaborate dinners, exotic trips and material gifts.

A smile can provide more of a sense of connection and love than most anything.

Consciously smile at your partner and see what response you receive. 😊

He Ioves me, she loves me not.

Relationships are complicated. Timing can be so important in the success of healthy relationships. When one person is feeling a certain way, the other might feel the opposite. How does one/both make a good coupleship?

Counselors can assist when the relationship feels like a roller coaster of emotions. When neither party feels empowered or capable of mending fences in the relationship an objective person may assist in helping the couple see the different perspectives and work toward resolution and towards amenable solutions.

Do you feel sad and heartbroken by the state of your relationship? Do you feel as if you have tried everything and the situation still feels bad? Are you at a loss as to the direction to proceed?

Counseling helps. Call Joan Leary, LPC

205.529.5565

Breaking up is hard to do. You've heard the song from Neil Sedaka 1962 and 1975
The lyrics;

You tell me that you're leavin',
I can't believe it's true!
Girl, there's just no livin' without you.
Don't take your love away from me.
Don't you leave my heart in misery.
'Cause if you go, then I'll be blue,
Breakin' up is hard to do.

Remember when you held me tight,
And you kissed me all through the night.
Think of all that we been through,
And breakin' up is hard to do.
They say that breakin' up is hard to do,
Now I know, I know that it's true.
Don't say that this is the end.
Instead of breakin' up I wish that
We were makin' up again.
I beg of you don't say goodbye,
Can't we give our love just one more try?
Come on baby, let's start anew,
Breakin' up is hard to do.
Songwriters
Greenfield, Howard / Sedaka, Neil


Seeking counseling may assist one with reconciling the loss of a true love. Breaking up with a significant other can be truly heartbreaking. Getting perspective on the loss and mourning process might be helpful if you're struggling to find joy again.

Give Joan Leary a call- 205.529.5565

Valentine's Day isn't just for lovers.

Valentine's Day can be a day to remember all of the people we love for many different reasons.

I love my sons.

I love my sisters.

I love my friends.

I am thankful and grateful for my work.

I adore the sunshine and moonshine.

I smile at flowers and bees buzzing in gardens.

I notice tiny small things which make a difference in my life and in the world.

My heart expands with love, adoration, gratitude toward many things which surround me each day and lead me to feel "alive."

Valentine's Day reminds me that my heart beats for love .

Valentine's Day can be a tough day for those people who find themselves sans a lover.

The media and commercialization of this holiday can confront single people smack in the face as a reminder that they're all alone.

This can create depression, sadness, feelings of inadequacy, guilt and shame. People sometimes assign meaning to their own identities by defining their sense of worth solely on their attachment to a significant other.

This may set a person up for negativity and victim hood.

I encourage you to look at all of the things which are going your way in life.

Good health

Friendships

Stable employment

Financial security

Faith and spirituality

Make a gratitude list and focus on all of the blessings and put into perspective the fact that Valentines is one day in the year which gives you the opportunity to show LOVE to yourself.

Celebrate you!